For the last few weeks a few things have been going on that have been made public. I’ve been debating on whether or not I should keep quiet with how I really feel about this and while I have made my feelings known on Facebook, there have been things said to me privately which made my decision a lot quicker. Case in point: This morning I posted this: Rabbis Accused in Plot to Kidnap, Torture Husbands to Pressure Divorces. Then I tried to bring it up on the way to work where my co workers decided to gang up on me and tell me that i’m a “Self Hating Jew” and that I should watch what I say. Really? Why? What am I saying that’s wrong? Are you afraid of hearing the truth? Now, on my wall, I got similar comments (which I deleted) ranging from it’s desecrating God’s name to “why make it public” to “you’re no better then them if you post it” and my favorite one: “Do you get pleasure in posting this? Actually, I don’t. Quite the opposite actually. It makes me ashamed to be Jewish.
If speaking the truth makes me a “Self Hating Jew” then so be it but I will NOT back down no matter how many people tell me to take down anything I post. They are scared and afraid of hearing the truth? Why that is I have no idea but they do get people talking. I’m also a believer in the mantra of: “One person can make a difference”. Even as I write this, I’m getting comments on my wall that calls me a “Jew Hater” and one who’s adding “fuel to the fire”. It’s funny how people refuse to see things that happen right in their own backyard. I was raised and taught to be open minded and speak the truth and stand up for what I believe in and that is what I am doing.
It is sad that at least there’s one story every week coming out of the Jewish community that looks at us in a negative light. It makes me be ashamed of being Jewish sometimes. Someone didn’t like what I did and felt I was wrong so he called me a “Nazi Jew Hater” which should offend me but he’s one of those people who grew up close minded and away from the secular world.
A few months ago, I started small by posting about a certain place to which the owner didn’t like and responded in kind (see an earlier post). He tried bullying me to take it down and I refused. Then other things started happening to which I posted onto my wall which pissed off many people to the point where they went and blocked me and started spreading rumors about me which were not true. At first, it bothered me but I have learned to be more strong and confident in my life and not worry about what others think. Truthfully, if this was years ago, I’d be to chicken shit to even speak up about anything. But now, I’ve found a close circle of friends that really help me be a better person and advise me on certain things I otherwise wouldn’t have thought off. It’s also somewhat of a learning experience because it allows me to find out about myself and what I am capable of doing.
Today I’ve been called many offensive and insulting names but I’m not concerned because I will stand up for what I believe in. I am not afraid of speaking the truth. It’s time someone did and called others out. I mean if we are supposed to look up to certain people and/or give them the honor they are supposed to get well, that all goes out the window. These so called “Rabbis” think that they are above the law. Okay, they can think that and to the crime and then tell the Judge whatever they want. At the end of the day you’ll end up behind bars so what’s the point?
There is a reason why so many people leave their communities and no longer want to be religious and I had the opportunity a few days ago to question two of them about it not because I wanted to grill them but because I wanted to learn more about it and gain an understanding into this world and I did and I felt a little sorry for them. I mean how can you not? In some of these communities no one does anything and I mean ANYTHING without seeking out their leader first and whatever he says they do regardless if it’s right or wrong. They are so close minded and insulated that it’s not even funny.
The thing is that many of these Rabbis are so behind the times. They grew up during Pre War Europe before the age of social media and the internet. They grew up in a world where they only now one thing and that is spending the days learning in Yeshiva but the times have changed now where we live in a secular world where technology is around us and no matter how much they try to keep us away from it it is almost impossible to do so. Why these rabbis can’t get with the times is beyond me and I think that ultimately this will be their downfall.
As I write this, I look at everything being written on my Facebook posts and it’s clear to me that I have my supporters that are glad I posted it but then there are others who think that I’m the one who’s committing the crime by posting it. It’s so nice to see people who are ignorant and foolish and when you ask them questions they can’t back it up so they continue blaming it on you. People’s minds are warped for sure. These are people who are so close minded that no matter what you say, you will always come out looking like the bad guy and that’s okay because Freedom of Speech is a wonderful thing and as long as it’s used wisely then you will be okay.
I’m not a politician. Not on the city council but I don’t regret what I did and I would do it again in a heartbeat. The people who called me names for that I’m okay with because it shows me their true colors for who they really are and it shows me that they are just like these low lifes and everyone will eventually get what they deserve.
You want to hate me because I’m standing up for my fellow Jews and friends fine but don’t go insulting them to prove a point. I will defend myself and my friends . All you need is one person to stand up and speak out. When one person stands up and makes that difference, others will no longer be afraid to join in and speak up and as long as you have people on your side you can be confident that you will be successful. People can make a difference. Baby steps.
We need to step up and say no more to our “leaders” They need to lead by example and if they feel they can do it by breaking the law or by saying that only Jewish law applies to them then they are Not fit to lead. We are Jews. We are people who for thousands of years were persecuted for the simple reason that we were Jews and we are our own worst enemies and as long as people continue to sweep it under the rug and protect those who wronged well then may G-D have mercy on your soul.
We will not be bullied, coerced or threatned. We will punish those that wronged us and if that gets us kicked out of a community or looked down upon that’s okay because we know that in our hearts we did the right thing and one less person to worry about.
- 94% of Jews “guilt-free and proud” (john-friend.net)
- It doesn’t matter whether its hate against Jew or Muslim or Israeli or Palestinian HATE IS HATE (shethoughtsheonceknew.wordpress.com)
- Is any man afra… (djmara1992.wordpress.com)
- Our rabbis are afraid of their Israel shadow (mondoweiss.net)
- Agunot Not Helped, But Harmed, By Supposed Saviors (kolbishaerva.wordpress.com)
- The Jewish religion FORBIDS Jews from being honest with non Jews! (jewishterrorism.com)
- Antisemitism doesn’t always come doing a Hitler salute | Jonathan Freedland (theguardian.com)
So yesterday I wrote one of the most personal and emotional pieces I have ever written and the reaction was to say overwhelming but in a good way. Many didn’t know how good of a writer I really was. Though, at the same time, it brought people to tears which was not my intention but I guess when you write from the heart it brings out emotions you never knew you had. It was hard for me to write as well. I think at one point it started to hit me as well but I had to finish writing it and there was so much more that had to be said which is why I am writing this part two or as I like to think of it an addendum.
Last time around, I was asking myself questions that may never have answers but aside from that, it turns out that my sister, who for years, wanted to make the move began having doubts as it got closer to the “big day” which is normal. But after writing my previous post, I started to wonder if she really was doing this for her or for the children. Like me, she lived in Israel but she stayed an extra year because she loved it so much which makes me wonder why she never stayed there for good. It’s not for everyone true but I sensed her love was there which showed from an early age. Honestly, her husband is Israeli so it would have been easier if they just moved there after they married (of course they both had jobs at the time.. Somewhat) but I do believe that it may have been better off if her kids were born there.
I say this because her son was scared of moving there and I felt bad for him. He’s 7 and he kept saying “Mommy I don’t want to go because the Arabs will hurt me”. Going to Israel is a new world for him. How do you explain to him the situation? How do you explain why Mommy and Daddy are moving away? How would a 7 year old react to a place where soldiers are always walking around with guns? Then my Niece who is 4. How will she react? How will she handle it? In a way, I feel sorry for them.. No, maybe that’s not the right word… I feel bad for them.. It’s hard when you are at that age and you have to leave the friends you have to go to a place you’ve never been to with a language you don’t know. Finally, the newborn niece that’s only a few weeks old. This one hits me the most because I will never see her grow. I will never get to know her. She will never know who I am and that hurts me the most. My other question is: Will the other 2 forget me? I won’t be around to see them grow up. No more birthdays. I won’t even be there for his Bar Mitzva or her Bat Mitzvah (unless by some miracle I happen to be there). I have to be man enough here to admit that I’m not sure I can deal with this or even if I know how or if I even want to. My sister is scared. She regrets it but sadly, they need to stay for 3 years before returning or the money they got will be forfeited.
Because I have lived there, I am able to write about all this. I can also say that I know what she’s going through which I guess makes me understand certain things better. Although my going was more forced and not a choice. I ask myself what would have been if I had the choice instead? Would I have gone? I don’t think I can answer that because it no longer matters. What does matter though is that she’s been there before so she knows what to expect although since we’ve both been there things changed. Though, I think it’s gotten worse.
There’s nothing more for me to say. I think I’ve said all I can about this so I will end with this. I hope her decision turns out to be the right one. I hope I am wrong. I hope my Nieces and Nephew grow up being happy instead of being miserable and I hope that one day I will be able to be there for their wedding. For now I wish you the best of luck and may G-D watch over you all. Be safe. I love and miss you all.
It’s always hard to say goodbye. Sometimes the best way of saying goodbye is to not say it at all. Case in point: My sister and her family decided that they wanted to make the move to Israel something she’s wanted to do for years but I never thought she’d actually do. Now, years later, with 3 kids (1 newborn), a dog, cat and a husband, she’s currently (at time of this writing) flying to her new home. I may not know with certainty what’s going through her mind but I can relate to a certain extent.
A few years ago, I was in Israel. Lived there for almost 2 years. It wasn’t my first time there though. The first time I went it was a 10 day journey. There’s a big difference between going for 10 days and 2 years. It’s kinda surreal actually not to mention scary. Here I was 5,000 miles away from home. Alone and unsure what to do. Sure I’ve gone away before but this was different not to mention that it was a whole different world. At the time, I spoke little to no Hebrew so I wondered how I was going to communicate? I also wasn’t used to the economy and how it works which I guess is important if I’m to be living there. They try to take advantage of tourists when it comes to this and honestly, I’d look silly if every time I had to figure out what the amount is in American currency.
So going to Israel for that year and a half wasn’t really my idea. In fact, it caught me off guard when I was told I was going. I have nothing against going but it was something I wasn’t really prepared for. I mean how does one prepare? So many questions suddenly arose. What if I couldn’t handle it? What if I got homesick? So many “what ifs” arose that I possibly couldn’t answer them all.
My sister made the choice long before she was married. It was something that I know she really wanted but once she started a family, it became harder and harder for her dream to become a reality. But only a few months ago her and her husband officially made the decision that would seal their fate. In a way it’s good that they did it now instead of later while the kids are still young. Ironically though, my sister, only a few days ago, realized that it had started to sink in and it seemed like she had doubts. But I guess that is expected.
Every so often, I’m asked if I want to move to Israel on a permanent basis. The answer I give is: “If the right girl comes along and wants to” but the truth is I don’t know if I ever can. It scares the hell out of me. I have family that lives there but you essentially take you’re entire life and move it and start a new (which is what marriage is). Honestly though I think that my living there for over a year taught me a few things. One thing was that it’s harder there then it is here in America. The way of life is harder there then here. I’ve thought about this time and time again and I’m not so sure it’s for me. It’s not for everyone. In fact, I commend anyone that DOES do it as it’s not an easy decision to make and that includes my sister. I’m not sure but I think I have more respect for her now then I ever did. Should I be jealous?
Yesterday, I had a phone conversation with my mom who was very emotional about the whole thing which I guess is normal. She knew this day was coming and we all knew that she would have a tough time dealing with it and she is and probably will be for quite some time.She was upset at me that I wasn’t showing any emotion about it. Women get more emotional about these things then men I guess but I’m not a parent so maybe I can’t feel it the same way she does, Maybe I’m dealing with it in my own way. ironically, as I write this I do feel somewhat emotional. In truth, my sister and I never really had the best relationship and we hardly ever spoke but now… I’m sad. I think I will miss her,
I think I am more sad that I’ll never see my nieces and nephews grow up especially the newborn who will never know me (maybe). I wonder now if they will forget me. Will I ever see them again? What of the newborn? She will essentially be growing up there not knowing about us back home.. I’ll never see her grow up. I’ll never get the pleasure of being an Uncle to her. This makes me sad. It makes me want to cry. But I know I have to be strong. Being sad is one thing but crying over this won’t really help bring them back.
They did what they felt they had to do and in their minds it’s the right time for them to start a new chapter in their lives. The question I ask is this: Are they making a big mistake? Will they end up regretting it? Most important: Will the kids be happy? Like I said, better to do it when they are young because it might be even harder the longer they wait. In my heart I know they had to do this but deep down I worry and I wonder if I should. I also feel like a part of me died.
One last thing: There’s a part of me that wonders if they are running away from something or someone.. For some reason, it bothers me that… I don’t know I get the feeling that they are abandoning us. Like we’re no good for them anymore, I know it’s silly to think that but I dunno. I think I blame myself.. I know I shouldn’t but there’s something bothering me about this whole thing and I can’t figure out what it is. Sure there’s Skype and Facebook and other forms of communication but it’s not the same. Is it better then nothing? Yes.
All I can do now is hope they are safe and say that they are “home” and hope that one day we will all be reunited in some form or another. Now I can only pray to G-D to watch over them and say that I miss and love them.
One day about a month ago, I was having a really bad day where things were going from bad to worse. At the same time I was talking to a friend on Facebook who was also having issues that day and well I basically took it out on her when all I was trying to do was help. A few days later, another friend blocked me because he didn’t agree with something I liked. A few days after that, I went on a “warpath” regarding events for singles that were taking place weeks later (see my previous posts). It was then that I received a text message from another friend telling me that he can no longer be my friend because and I quote” You are a mean bitter person who does nothing but hurt others and I can’t associate with people like that in my life right now so lose my number.” I never did but I guess I might have had it coming.
Over the weekend, the unexpected happened and it happened quickly within a 24 hour period. I was at an event when the person above called me out of the blue. We spoke for a half hour. The friend that blocked me added me as a friend again and in fact, I saw him yesterday as if nothing happened and we were ourselves again. Then, while at work, I got a text from the very person I was having a bad day with that caused me to take it all out on her. She called me and we spoke for an hour. Suffice it to say, everything seems to be back to normal. But man was I caught off guard by the unfolding of this.
Looking back on it now I had it coming and honestly, I probably deserved it. I admit my actions may have been a bit out of control that caused people to turn away and that’s fine because honestly I might have done the same thing in that situation but I am glad that it’s all water on the bridge and that things are back to normal because in all honesty, they are all really good friends.
The weird thing about this is that I’m nothing but nice to these people and in fact, they know this to be true. She (let’s call her Jenny) also had time to reflect and admitted to me that she missed me and that it was really stupid(silly) to not be friends with me as I’m a gentleman and nothing but kind and caring to her.
I guess G-D’s been good to me. Is it the “pay it forward” ideal? Is it something else? Doesn’t really matter. What does matter is that I’ve reflected on things in this whole month and realized that if people can forgive and forget then maybe I can do. Why? Because in the end, people see you for who you are and it’s the actions that speak louder then words. People have a reputation and that goes a long way. I’m trying hard not to tarnish mine and if people are seeing me in a bad light for my actions then it’s not worth trying to be someone I’m not. It’s not who I am nor who I want to be and sadly, it took 3 friends to make me realize this but I thank them because having them “disappear” for awhile was good therapy for me because sometimes it takes people who care about you and vice versa to make you see what’s important.
This past weekend, I decided I wanted to try something different and attempt to meet new people. I went with a few friends. Early on it was okay in fact, I liked the fact that it was outdoors because the weather was really nice and the night was just beautiful. The food was good the atmosphere was okay and the speaker (from what I heard) was okay as well. I met a few interesting people but none I’d ever want to hang out with. We were there for most of the night and all was good…. Until the end.
I was enjoying the party but I was also observing my surroundings and realized that the girls were on their best behavior. The guys…. Not so much and by that I mean they were rowdy. In fact one guy decided to go in the pool with a bottle of vodka and spill some of it into the water hoping girls would join in for a swim. I’ve never seen anyone ever do this and I’m glad I didn’t decide to go for a dip (even though my friend said I should)
Anyway, so I had some drinks and had a few conversations. Towards the end of the night, my friend gave me her cup and asked me to get her something to drink which I did and while I was doing that, a commotion started brewing and at the time, I had no clue what was going on but it seems that the cops were called by neighbors complaining of rowdiness and noise which didn’t surprise me because many of the guys were being jerks. Suffice it to say, they ended the party early and we all had to leave,.
Which brings me to my friend. I couldn’t find her. I had her cup with a drink in it but she was nowhere to be found. After the commotion had died down,I found her on the porch (was it a deck?) with a some guy smoking some hooka. Fun right? Well, then it got scary when she just put her head down and “froze”. Tried waking her up as we needed to walk to the car but she was stiff as a dead corpse. So my friends and I gently “carried” her to the car.
To make a long story short and to avoid getting into details, I was really, really scared when she didn’t respond and everyone in the car saw me at my worst and it’s not something I’ll want to remember anytime soon. But the lesson I learned and the point of this story is to just go to parties where you know the crowd and trust the people there because it is usually safe at those. One idiot can ruin it for everyone else and when you go to an event where you don’t know anyone or someone looks suspicious and/or the person/s running the events aren’t supervising, dangerous things can happen. I hoped never to experience something like that but I did and I hope I never ever have to again.
She’s doing fine by the way as am I but it was a scary situation, Parties are great and all but when you have guys who try to take advantage of certain situations there’s a problem. Creeps need to stay away and if they can’t then I pray for all the innocent girls that meet them at said parties.
In my last post I had written about how the manager of the venue was threatening me with a lawsuit and saying I needed to seek help. Well, not long after that post I did indeed get handed a lawsuit with I believe is frivolous and insane and here’s why:
First off, he filed using my nickname which isn’t even recognized in the state of NY. He also made me the defendant’s place of business (the place suing me). He then decided to sue me in the amount of 1.5 million with interest. $1 million in punitive damages and another $ 4,400 in compensatory damages. He then added on a page demanding to know why he shouldn’t get a restraining order against me. So my question is this: What the hell did I do? Since when is it a crime to post links on the internet to your Facebook wall? What damages, if any, have I caused?
If he gets wind of this blog is he gonna sue me for taking it public? The manager needs a scapegoat so he’s using me to look like the hero in all of this. Why? Because he’s desperate. He knows no one is coming to the “hotel” and knows what I did will maybe keep people away but when a place is public knowledge there really is nothing you can do. He claims he’s suing me because of links I posted from Trip Adviser(which apparently he claims he’s suing as well) which has the reviews to his venue.
Basically what it comes down to is this: Anything you want to know about the place is public knowledge. There’s nothing he can deny (well, he can try). In fact, I did some looking into and it seems that they have 2 strikes with the BBB (Better Business Bureau) regarding their sales and advertising which isn’t really surprising (see my earlier post) plus according to the State Health Dept, they boarded up several sections condemning it till they get the proper repairs . Of course, the manager doesn’t give a shit so it’ll remain closed.
The second thing is about what I said about the molester (see my last post). I retracted, publicly apologized and then privately emailed him and did the same. Therefore, he feels that by slandering him, I’ve hurt his feelings and his business. I say not true because his business reputation has been ruined for years. He just needed a scapegoat and he found one.
I’ve committed no crime. For that matter, he can’t sue Trip Adviser either. On what grounds can he do so? Last I checked, it was perfectly legal for people to leave feedback on places they stay. If I didn’t know any better I’d say he’s just afraid of getting caught with whatever it is he’s trying to cover up.
I have had bad experiences at the venue and so have others that have been there alongside me and if it’s one thing I learned throughout this whole thing is that all you need is one person to speak up for others to hear because when you do that, others may come forward and that’s all it takes because one person can make a difference.