The other day I wrote a VERY personal and brutally honest post and I was really afraid to make it public because I didn’t know how people would react. How would they now see me? I can answer this in so many ways but let me back up before I do that and say this: I still have no idea why I wrote all that. I have no idea why it came out as easily as it did because usually I have a hard time writing this stuff let alone speaking it out. I have realized that sometimes things need to be said be it verbally or by writing and when that happens well, I’m convinced that it’s something on a sub conscious level. What do I mean exactly? Sometimes we say things we may not be aware of or even realize. Words can hurt and it’s not what we say but how we say it but sometimes you don’t even have to say anything to anyone and they just know. But here’s the thing: I’m a very open minded person that will share just about anything. Having said that, there are a few things buried within in me that no one will EVER know unless you are married to me or we are seriously dating. But back to the question I asked: Why did I write the previous post? The one answer I keep coming back to is thinking out loud but I can’t seem to find that as a valid excuse. Whatever it is, it’s to late and what I said is out there so the damage is done… Or so I thought.
What I have never revealed to many is that I am a sensitive and sometimes an emotional guy and while I may get made fun of because of that, I am not ashamed to admit it. Some girls like guys like this. There’s no shame in admitting that you sometimes cry at movies or that you are sensitive. You MUST be true to yourself and not worry what others might think. A girl will only respect a guy who respects himself. Carol Burnett once said: “Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.” So don’t try to be someone your not just to impress someone. If you just be yourself you will get more respect and be looked at in a positive way. If someone can’t accept you for who you are, then maybe they just aren’t worth your time.
Why am I telling you all this? I’m no motivational speaker or a pastor or a rabbi nor am I a therapist. So what makes me qualified to be so open? Smart ass answer: I write this on MY blog so I can do what I want. 🙂 Real answer: I didn’t really know who read this stuff until the other day when I saw the comments on my last post (See the August 15th post) and then again the following day when people came over to me. Two things happened here: One: I had no idea people felt the same way I did and constantly think about it, and Two: People coming over to you complimenting you on how they like your writing and that how I was brave to write all that.
Which does give me a sigh of relief because I was scared to open up like that. I was scared and frightened because I’m seen as a heartwarming and fun loving life of the party kinda guy and then I write this and am seen like a depressed person but we all get that way sometimes and I’ve learned to shield my pain. But I’m happy that the post was received warmly. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. But please don’t treat me any differently then you have been until now. I’m still me only stronger and getting more so every day. But I shared more about me then I probably should have but looking back on it, I feel a bit better especially knowing how others feel the same and if I can inspire those around me then I am happy. But if people get the wrong idea on what I’m trying to say, well I’m not sure what I can do about that.
What I still ask myself though is why can we solve our friends problems but never our own? One of life’s mysteries I guess but I tell people all the time (mostly the ladies) that if you ever need a shoulder to cry on or ever feel the need to talk… About anything, I’m here for you no matter what. I’m a good listener and women want someone who will just sit there listening to them ramble on for hours even if it’s about nothing. A gentleman cares. A sensitive gentleman does whatever he cans. An emotional one feels her pain. A sensitive and emotional one does all.
But one of my favorite songs really says it all.
Even if you think you can’t find love, there’s someone out there for us. All of us. I have learnt this the hard way and still learning. We all feel like we want to give up finding our “best friend” for whatever reason but as the song says “Don’t Give Up” because there’s someone for all of us and even if it takes us longer, eventually we’ll get there but if you’re wondering why he or she has found love before you have? Stop wondering because everything’s been set in stone already and our life’s a destiny that we choose. The question is will you choose the right one?