Life’s Lessons: Learning the Hard Way

A few weeks ago, I went away for a quick R&R after deciding at the last minute that it would be in my best interests to do so. I had a nice time and made do with what was available to me . A few miles away but in the vicinity of the area was another event that was going on. On the night we were packing up to go home, we found out that an “incident” had taken place there. When we all heard the news we felt bad. In fact, when I got home, I did what I felt was the right thing by wishing those involved  to get well soon. But what came next I could never predict nor could I anticipate the aftermath. It’s amazing what an innocent comment can do.

   As I said above, I wrote a status update on my Facebook wall  with good intentions and immediately thereafter the shit hit the fan and there was no turning it off. I admit that maybe I worded it wrong but my intentions were noble and those who know me . I have no idea why people involved in the incident took offense by what I wrote (I have some idea actually) but what I can’t fathom is why I was led to be the victim in all of this. While I did remove the post and reworded it it still didn’t help but I was man enough to publicly apologize not once not twice but three times while everyone else just felt the need to attack me instead of apologizing.. One person even went far to tell me that I had my facts wrong which is fine if he would say what really happen (for the record I’m still waiting) but I based my statement on what I knew and unless you correct me I have no choice but to base it on what I know.

    If you run an event and something goes wrong, you have a responsibility to admit that rather then try to hide it. I can understand why you would try to hide it (sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t) but when it’s publicly known it makes things worse. In fact, it makes you look bad. You can’t deny or cover something up. Well, you can but at some point it becomes known and then you need to answer for it.  Realistically speaking, if people know what happened and you blame it on someone who wasn’t even there that’s just taking a coward’s way out and just plain wrong.. How can you blame someone who wasn’t even there?   In the end, the truth comes out and sometimes when that happens it does more harm then good. But when you try to do good and it backfires you have to wonder why? I’ve always questioned why good things happen to bad people while the reverse happens to the good ones. I’m not sure that that is something I can answer but it does bother me at times. 

The thing is that you have to wonder how many times one has to apologize before people hear that. Maybe they don’t want to. But people have to learn to forgive but there’s a problem: When people hate you with such a passion and with such animosity it doesn’t matter what you say or do. No matter how many times you try to make nice.  People pressure you, bully you until they get what they want but at some point you have to stand up for yourself and not give in no matter how much you want to and this is something I had to recently learn the hard way. People pressure you and if they see that you give in then you give them what you want and it’ll ruin you for life….

I had every intention of taking it down once everyone apologized. I don’t know why I had to apologize while no one else felt the need to do so. Let’s assume for a minute that I was wrong  and if I was I was man enough to admit that and people seem to have a problem with that. But what I learned was that when people are afraid or nervous they involve other people into the conversation without rhyme or reason pissing those people off. If you have beef with said person that’s one thing but bringing in other people is just hiding behind a facade.

But the real test is finding out who you’re real friends are. Real friends would either stay out of it or support you publicly by saying something. But when the people who you thought were you’re friends turn out not to be it makes you think what they really thought of you all these years. Many people are two faced in that they appear to be friends but then become turncoat for whatever reason but a true friend sticks by you for life.

And I think this whole incident opened my eyes in that I really should reevaluate certain things in my life. Life is full of tests and sometimes we can’t see what’s in front of us until it’s to late but everyone has a chance at redemption and I think maybe just maybe I have a chance to maybe reset myself and try to learn from past mistakes. I know it’s hard but it’s a challenge and I feel it’s something that I need to do for myself. I don’t think anyone can really understand it and that’s okay because as long as I do what makes me feel better about myself  is what matters and as long as you have a few people who do support you then that’s really all you need. As of this writing, I still have the post up . It’s died down for now and no one’s mentioned it since but the “damage” is done and it’s time to move on .

It really sucks when you go to a party and people avoid you like the plague when you are used to being the social butterfly and then when you are having a miserable time no one seems to either notice or care until a few days later….. Maybe it was just bad timing who knows? But it’s a big world we live in and many people that I have yet to meet. It’s hard to know who’s good or bad but the truth is it’s hard to have friends these days when they know people who hate you. And really how can you hate someone when you don’t really know them? Just because you hear something  about that person from someone else doesn’t make it true which is a big problem. That’s why you always go to the source.

I am fine if people hate me or don’t like me (Why associate with that crowd) but there’s no reason to do it out in the open especially when that person has never done anything bad to you. And I’m pretty sure I shouldn’t be writing this but it’s my personal blog and I can write what I want or how I feel about certain things.  One other thing I learnt is that people can hate you for many different reasons for instance if you associate yourself with someone they despise which to me makes no sense at all but there’s nothing you can do about it. I am convinced that people have no idea how to act or speak or they are afraid so they just look at others to guide them but not necessarily on the right path (well, they believe it is) and what people tend to forget is that we are all humans with feelings and if you take the time to know us instead of believing what others tell you, then perhaps we will all be better off.

I hope and pray that one day we can all live in peace and harmony without the hatred that fuels this world.

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5 thoughts on “Life’s Lessons: Learning the Hard Way

  1. Isn’t writing this blog and posting it on your facebook page counter productive if you say that you took down the original post? You don’t need to remind people what was said or done. Writing this (while poorly done) is fine for your personal usage but no need continue mulling over this in public. What is done is done. It’s in the past and all you have to do is continue living your life as the person you want to be. People will always like you and hate you. Hatred isn’t something that is going to magically disappear. People talk about everyone behind their back. It’s just life. No need to wallow. Brush it off and be the person you want to be. Like-minded people to will follow suit.

  2. In theory yes but here I am able to speak more freely and open. I simply wanted to give myself closure so I wrote what happened and then gave my thoughts for it.. It was something I needed to do for myself.

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