Reflections on 2013

As we come to the end of another year, it’s time to reflect on what it meant to us.  For me personally it meant something. There were many highs and lows, ups and downs, good and bad but in all that happened, I never once gave up. Well, I thought of it but that’s the easy way out and I’m no coward. I’m not going to go off on a rambling here and go into details (It’s gonna be to long of a post if I did that) instead, I will just reflect on a few things that meant something to me.

    Though reflecting on it can be hard as some can find it hard to recall what happened from January till December (A ball dropped somewhere in between right?)  No, it actually means something to people when the ball drops because people find it an excuse to propose to their loved ones. (Did she say yes?) Interestingly enough, I live in NYC and I’ve never ever stepped foot in Times SQ to see it drop. Nope I’m drinking booze (champagne… I’m probably hammered at that point to know the difference) and watching it on the wall (See, I told you I’m wasted) and that’s good enough for me. The funny thing is that Jan 1 and Dec 31 is full circle for me because I end the year with friends and begin anew with them as well.  I guess friends are really important in one’s life.

    It really does wonders when you spend time alone though (Not a hermit) because it makes you think about certain things. No, wait. Actually being alone is healthy and sometimes is what is needed.  I know it helped me and we all have our own ways of doing what we need to do to “heal” ourselves and truthfully it’s all for naught if you don’t live by whatever mantra it is you decided to live by. I have and I’m the first to admit that I’m not perfect nor have I actually lived by my own mantra and that’s okay because it gives me  a chance to write posts like these. 🙂

 In all seriousness though, someone asked me 365 days ago what my New Years resolution was and I told her what’s the point? No one keeps them anyway and if you don’t believe me just ask around and you’ll be amazed at the answers. Well, I guess we keep them for maybe 48 hrs and then it’s like: Resolution/s? What resolution/s? But it’s all willpower. Is it hard? Yes but so is being alive each and every day which is a challenge in itself.

 And with challenges brings risks and if I didn’t take any I’d never have experienced or faced different things and in my opinion, risks are part of life’s lessons. It’s like an obstacle that has to be  completed. I did take some. Some I enjoyed taking and some I did not but the funny thing is that I learned more from the ones I didn’t enjoy taking then the ones I actually did enjoy. Ironic isn’t it… 

    I learned stuff about me that I didn’t even know. It’s a scary thought when that happens because sometimes you just don’t want to know about it. But it’s those moments when you are the most vulnerable that’s hard especially when it happens among a crowd or friends.  But I guess that’s something that maybe you need I don’t know.  It’s tough to reflect because I honestly either don’t remember it all or purposely blanked it out but the joke is on me because I’m reminded of them at various different points and probably for my own good.

    All in all, I can’t complain about 2013. I made some great new friends, experienced new things and places and no regrets.

In fact, I don’t believe in regrets. No. To me, there’s no such thing as regrets just mistakes. I’m asked that question all the time and honestly I say that no, I don’t.  Why? Because I can’t live a life based on regrets because it just doesn’t work like that. Not everything that happens is for me and not everything that goes on is for me but on the flip side if I do go it may not necessarily be something I should have been to in the first place but really that’s how we learn. We learn from what we experience and how we experience them so how can you regret? Mistake? Yes because if we go someplace and it’s not for us then it’s a mistake and I truly believe that making mistakes is part of life. it’s how we grow and learn. It’s one of those life lessons.

Having said that, I feel that I grew from my living 2013  and for that I have my close circle of friends because they saw things in me that I either didn’t see or was just afraid (scared?) to see for myself. They pushed me. Sometimes hard and the funny thing is they know me better then I do and know what’s best for me and that’s okay because I rely on them for support.

   So when I look back on the year, I am thankful. I’m happy. I’m proud. I’ve made many mistakes and with those mistakes I’ve sometimes paid the price and I am fine with that because I only have myself to blame for that but if not for those mistakes, I’d never have known who I really am as a person so as I look towards the next 365 days, I thank my friends for always being there  for me when I needed them the most because without you, I might have gotten lost along the way.

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR 

HERE’S TO 2014

 

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